Sex versus Sexuality

As I grow older, as age catches up with me, I begin to question my sexuality preferance. I am a female by birth, reached puberty at the age of 13 years old, have my fair share of sexual desires and perhaps experience with the opposite male sex. However deep down since the age of 12 years old, I developed a passion for elderly ladies, ladies of maternal nature. I remember it broke my mother's heart when she learnt of this strange passion of mine, as years passed by she has given up on me. I remember in my twenties I yearn for the maternal love of women in their fifties, suffered psychological wound and brokeness through merciless rejections. As I reached my early thirties I am 'bewildered' of my sexuality that I begin to fall for younger women, women in their forties, ironically it may sound but it is true fact of my life. My shrink is helpless when I told him my feelings towards these women. I have never been physically intimate with any of them but do harbour sexual thoughts on them. I can only conclude I am a besexual by nature.